


Good Dog, Best Girlfriend

by BreedingDuties



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Fingering, First Time, Fluff and Smut, So god damned vanilla it's basically ice cream, Vaginal Sex, headpats, scritches, vanilla sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:55:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21712579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BreedingDuties/pseuds/BreedingDuties
Summary: Dave discovers that Jade REALLY likes headpats. Dave also discovers that Dave really likes headpats.
Relationships: Jade Harley/Dave Strider
Comments: 1
Kudos: 52





	Good Dog, Best Girlfriend

Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and you’re about to MAKE SWEET TENDER LOVE to a DOG GIRL.

It starts with you leaving to go to the bathroom. Jade’s over, and you’re watching a movie. Normally this is kind of the thing John does, but he’s out doing whatever John normally does. You don’t know. Probably hitting his head against a tree or launching hurricanes at people or whatever. He did say that you needed to spend more time with Jade, which… yeah you do. There’s no obligation for Jade-time, but you’ve been neglecting your Jade-time, and everyone’s been whispering that’s she’s been a little off. The bad kind of off. There’s little hints you’re picking up on here and there. You remember her being more animated, eager. Happier.

But you can see what they mean when you come back and she jumps up when she sees you, rushing towards you like an eager dog whose owner just came home. Exactly like that. She jumps on you, nearly knocking you down.

“I’ve been gone for three minutes!” She flinches a bit when you yell and all the happiness just fades away, which kind of tips you off. This isn’t the Jade you remembered. She looks… defeated.

“Jade come on, sit down. Tell me where the bad universe touched you.” She complies, and takes a seat next to you on the couch.

“It’s just…” She sighs, and curls a bit. “Everyone keeps leaving me alone. Like I’m poisonous. Or a black hole. Or a white hole just… pushing everyone away.”

She puts her hands in her face. “I don’t… I don’t understand! I did everything! I played the game, I did my quests. I bred the frog! And then I’m alone. Always alone. It feels like someone is punishing me and just… I don’t know why! I feel like I’ve done something and I don’t know what and I don’t deserve anything.” She lays down. “Dave, am… I a bad girl?”

“Jade.”

She looks up at you, huge green eyes looking like they’re a few seconds away from tears.

But this is Jade. Jade who you used to make music with. Jade who always laughed at your jokes and thought you were the coolest, even when you weren’t. Jade who one time sent you a picture with a half a nipple accidentally in it that ended up being your greatest virtual treasure as a preteen.

Jade who, at the end of the day, you… well you didn’t know. But you don’t want Jade to be sad, or alone.

You reach out, a hand lightly grazing her ear and she relaxes a little bit.

“Nobody is going to go away Jade, it’s all over and done with.” You notice this seems to be working, she settles down and just sort of… jellifies a little bit. Like if something loosened the nonexistent knot inside her.

“It’s over, John’s here, Rose is sort of here, I’m definitely here.”

“Mmm.” She lays down a little bit and your scratch continues. Her breathing gets slower, deeper as she starts to smile a bit. You continue the trend of compliments, pulling her in for a sort of half hug while the earscritches get more and more intense. Her little smirk turns into a bigger grin, like the Jade you remember. Suddenly she sits up.

Jade slaps a pillow onto your lap, and leans down over you, trying and then failing to lounge. She lifts her shirt a bit, exposing a belly with just the hint of girl abs (sometimes called grabs).

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“You’re the one with the heavy petting mister, you can’t not pet a girl and then not follow up with some belly rubs!”

“Are you giving orders now? What happened to mopey sad Jade?”

“She died with the ear scratches, now come on!” She starts to whine, and you comply. You figure she at least deserves this much.

You start off with a little scritching and scratching. You don’t know the difference but Jade at least doesn’t seem to care, she smiles more and more as you continue.

“Who’s a good girl?”

“Me.” She sort of half whispers.

“Who isn’t going to be abandoned by her friends?”

“Me.” She giggles, blushing a bright red and understanding where you’re going with this. It really is an adorable giggle, and you’re glad you have the pillow on your lap hiding the boner you’ve just popped.

Your hand rises and falls quicker as you rub her down, and you look over to see that Jade has more or less gone full puppydog. She’s basically melted onto the couch, and her tongue hangs out of her mouth, panting as she wiggles her ass a bit with each “Good girl!” you give her. It takes you a bit to realize she’s trying to wag a nonexistent tail.

From the drool, and the shaking of the couch from the way her leg is sort of doing that dog thing (is there a name for it? You don’t really know) she is enjoying this. Enjoying it in a weird way. A weird sexual sort of way.

You stop, not knowing if you should continue or what, but an indignant “woof!” signals for you to continue your girlscritching.

And at this point, her eyes open and her tongue shoots back into her mouth. You’re both looking at each other, her blushing even deeper and you still putting most of your mental faculties to work trying to hide the extended wing of your body that your penis is currently building. Jade has evidently noticed the construction, and she quickly removes the pillow, not blushing deeper but probably would have if she wasn’t already at blush fucking bottom. You try and soften, uh, lighten, the mood, and flash her the best smile you’re able to do with your limited smile experience.

“Guess I’m a furry now huh.”

There’s a pause (not a pregnant one though because your boner is RAGING and any MILF related thoughts honestly might just cause your dick to explode so let’s not even go there). Jade, evidently a little shy from her first encounter with a wild boner, adjusts herself and sits up.

And then she kisses you. And you kiss her back. It’s a mutual thing really.

And then she takes your hand, and smiling shyly places it back on her stomach. Or a little south of her stomach.

And the other hand unzips your pants.

“Go lower, please.”

You swear you can hear a heart at the end of that statement. You nod, and go a little low with your bellyrubs, punctuating each descent with another little kiss. Another bark, and you go lower, then a pause and a quiet sort of woof from her and you edge your hand down her dress. For the first time in your life, you touch a vagina.

To be fair, it’s a pleasant enough experience, though quite wet. You’re no vagina expert (vaginologist) but you’re pretty sure this is unusually wet. Like an 8. It suddenly occurs to you, or rather occurs to you a little more, that this whole thing was probably sexual to Jade from the beginning. You should get indignant about being part of someone’s weird dog fantasy, but it just makes your erection that much harder. A gasp from Jade brings you out of your internal ramble and you realize your fingers have been on autopilot for a little bit, and poor Jade has had to suffer with the throes of sexual pleasure from your probably-skilled fingers. You decide to up the ante a bit and slide two fingers it. She gives the loudest moan (admittedly not too loud, she’s quiet and you’re grateful for that and soundproof walls) yet, and you continue, while the other hands resumes an ear-scratching routine. You silently catalog ear scratching as probably your best go-to for turning Jade Harley into a puddle of happy sexy goo. Metaphorically speaking.

Your fingers get faster, her own wigglings and weird dog whatevers matching the pace of your finerings and you tweak and twiddle and drill. You wonder if she’s noticed that you’re playing out a Snoop Dogg song on her vagina, but then again probably not. She bites her lip and her ears go down a bit, but at this point, you think it’s time to change gears.

You pull out, wiping your hands on the couch (it’s not yours anyway, you just won’t mention it to John), eliciting a disappointed whine from Jade and then a squeal as you pick her up and push her down, slowly sliding her shirt up. She gets the message and the bra zaps out of existing, along with your own shirt, pants, underpants, and soon enough you’re naked with a very appreciative Jade looking at you.

“You sure about this?”

“I’ve been sure for way too long.” You give her a thumbs up and go to work, starting by a little kiss that turns into a neck kiss, then a breast kiss, then lower, and lower.

There’s little giggle as you slide her panties down continuing to plant kisses wherever the happiest squeals are produced. You sit up, looking at her and twirling her soaked panties with your trademark Strider coolness. Probably not cool but the borderline animesque sparkles in her eyes indicate she neither notices nor cares. You toss them to the side (where they probably splat, it’d be gross if it wasn’t girlcum or whatever the internet calls it now), and slowly move up, planting kisses where you can until your face is level with hers. And something else is level with her other thing.

There’s a part of you that’s internally flipping out because you’re about to fuck Jade Harley. And there’s some fundamental weirdness towards that, for one too many reasons. That part is then removed from its seat on the Council of Dave by popular vote, and ejected for the crime of trying to question why you wouldn’t fuck Jade Harley.

“Um.” She says. You pause.

“What?”

“It’s just… this sounds a little stupid but…”

“Jade you could ask me what a pigeon is at this point and I’d be turned on.”

“Be gentle?” She draws her hands up shyly. “I’ve never really done… anything before.”

The wheels of logic spin out in your head as you realize what she’s saying. It makes sense of course.

You decide to try your luck with a joke as you crawl on top of her.

“So I bet this is some sort of first-time fantasy come true huh?”

“Well, no.” she closes her eyes. “There would be a lot more bacon, a-and flowers, and you’d be wearing cat ears. Or have cat ears. Honestly it’d just be cat-you. But not Davepeta.”

You start kissing her neck a little bit to try and keep the sexual train from derailing into a mountainside and killing Captain America, a serious risk whenever Davepeta is mentioned. “I could go alchemize at least the cat ears, but I think you’d like me to stay.”

A little mix between a whine and a gasp says the cat ears can wait.

You nod, and press you forehead to hers. Those big green eyes stare back.

“I love you.” she says meekly as you slide into her.

You expected more screaming and random particulates of semen everywhere, but hentai seems to have lied to you again. You’re too trusting. You move a little bit more and elicit a little gasp that is just too fucking cute. Like if porn was a kitten.

It takes a little bit, a few reassurances for her to just relax, a few more neck kisses and a few more rocking-abouts do the trick. To be honest, you’re probably more nervous. The Council of Dave is freaking out and worrying if you’re hurting her or if she hates it, while the one Dave that was elected on a platform of sensibility reasons that she’d probably be into anything you did, and damned if you aren’t putting in at least some effort, non-ironically. Your irony meter has been replaced with an “experiment-to-see-what-turns-Jade-on” engine. It’s a new model.

All of this ridiculous internal monologue-ing passes in about half a second. You try to focus on what Jade likes. The neck-kisses remain a popular item, but you’re finding that whispering jokes and buttering her up with compliments about she’s a good girl seems to also be a fan-favorite.

Mostly she just likes to stare at you while you scratch her ears. And damned if you’re not willing to comply, at least because in her attempts to simulate tail-wagging she bucks your hips against you. The staring would probably get uncomfortable but those big eyes stir a primal sort of attraction at this point. You want her bad, and you definitely want to make her laugh and smile and be yours.

You don’t even have to say anything at this point, just looking at you makes her giggle a bit, and it’s a sound you’re learning to really love. All this feels right, you with your happy doggirl Jade.

Soon enough, the little woofs and moans and giggles get higher pitched and she encourages you to go a bit faster. Then her body seizes up and her ears go a little flatter and she shivers a little bit, and you can feel (in more ways than one wink wink) that she’s probably just had her first orgasm. Maybe. You’re not gonna inquire (cause you’re pretty sure you saw her dildo once, it was bright red), it would spoil the moment, and you’re getting close too, the sweat and grunts you make getting more frequent as well. Her post-cumming high recedes a bit to notice, and she pulls you in for a soft hug. You go to try and pull out, but are met with a bit of restraint and a bark.

Her legs are wrapped around you and she shakes her head in the most clichéd way. Evidently you’re not the only one who reads hentai.

“I want it. I really, really, really do.”

You nod, too caught up in the moment to really think about any consequences. Not that you’d mind later anyway.

“But just…” she reaches up, towards your face. Towards your glasses. You shy away just a little bit, but she shooshes you sweetly and takes them off, gasping. You’re pretty sure that just seeing your eyes made her have another orgasm. You’d like to think that.

“I want to see your face when you cum inside me Dave.” she moans. And if that’s an order, you finally let go, spilling what in a hentai would be a gallonsworth of semen but here is a just a few streams. Still, it’s enough for Jade’s eyes to go wide (wider?) and pull you for the deepest kiss she can muster. It lasts for damn near thirty seconds before one of you needs to breathe, and you awkwardly pull out with a sound that sounds just a little like a cork leaving a bottle, if the cork was a penis and the bottle a well sexed Harley vagina. She sighs a little bit, as you both sit there breathing heavily and looking at each other with flushed faces. Eventually it gets a little bit too sweaty, so you lay down next to her, pulling her towards you to spoon and cuddle.

It’s sweaty and it’s sticky and more than a little uncomfortable, but as you turn to face each other, feeling her weird spacegod heart beating musically against the weird measured rhythm of your freakish timegod heart, you look at her again and that feeling of rightness returns. You give her a kiss which she enthusiastically returns, and you both smile.

“I love you.” she says.

In a few hours you’ll probably wake back up and argue about inane shit. In a day you’ll go back beneath your little facade and she’ll be a peppy puppy and you’ll both talk about mundane things. In a few weeks you’ll have to move into a bigger house and start reading a book or two on childcare. It’ll all feel right, like something a deeper part of you wanted. But now, there’s only one thing you really want to say to her.

“I love you too.” you say. And that feels like the rightest thing of all.


End file.
